iLove vs Connecting where you are

 One of the most compelling aspects of Jesus’ ministry was that he as God came and hung out with us. God came from heaven and to earth, human, putting down his power and position to fully participate in life on earth.

When I was younger I used to translate this to mean that the most effective thing I could do with my life was to go somewhere, to become a missionary in Africa or somewhere foreign to my way of life.

Thankfully I’ve realized that the key is that I fully participate in life, and live openly in relationship with those who already share my world. What is transforming, does not necessarily require a total relocation of my world, but rather be fully part of the life presented around me.

There’s a sense in which this might seem easier. It doesn’t take the huge sacrifice of family, friends and finances. However it still requires a culture shift. A move from i-centred to other-centred. An understanding that actually the way we treat people in small moments can affect their day, their world. It can be as simple as remembering someone’s name, or the way they like their coffee.

It can be letting yourself become familiar to local people in a large city, shopping at the same places and spending a few seconds checking in, rather than quickly making your purchase and rushing to get on with your day.

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” Mother Teresa

Too often we are focused on the next thing, where we’re going or what we’ve come from, that we let the moments pass by. We let the time to connect with people pass us by.

I’ve been guilty of not feeling I have the capacity to engage in the small things. I’m tired, too busy. This revolutionary love does not take a talented or particularly merciful few. Great love does not need great acts for it to be demonstrated. It is in doing those small things with great love.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

Mother Teresa

There is something powerful about truly connecting with people. It takes the ability to prioritise others in the many moments throughout our day. To forget our preoccupation with ourselves, our business and truly acknowledge another. To take the time to see a person in their world, for all their going through, and all they could be.

When two people connect, something is poured out from one and into the other that has the power to heal the soul of its deepest wounds and restore it to health. Larry Crabb (1997) (xi, Connecting :Healing for ourselves and our relationships, A radical new vision) W Publishing Group, Nashville.

How much do you hold back yourself from fully connecting with others in the small moments throughout the day?

How could you participate more fully and openly in your world?

What is one action you could take today to be more open and present in the moment?

Love in your hood

So much difference can be made through relationship. Relationships are the foundation our worlds are built on. The successfulness, authenticity and strength of our relationships ultimately determine the success of our lives, the health of our communities and the vibrancy of our cities.

And while we understand and crave the healthy real, profound, giving, fun relationships for ourselves its easy to limit the power of relationships to those significant relationships in our lives.

Somehow we’ve bought into the lie that those who can touch people lives in our communities, our cities, our world who are struggling, sick, poor, or have had crap happen to them is for those with specialist skills, or a certain type of personality.

We do our bit when we can, giving to worthy charities and causes and saying kind words when we have the presence of mind to. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and powerless in a world where so much evil exists. Where the system seems impregnable despite who’s in power. Sometimes we are just scared that we don’t have the skills, or we won’t know what to say. Or how to respond to what another might share.

But I’ve seen the transforming power of people investing in relationships in their communities. Young people who have grown up in a community believing passionately for the next generation of young people to live in a community with opportunities, free from violence, and drug abuse. These young people standing together are a family for each other supporting each other through life’s seasons and encouraging the next generation to dream of something different. Young people who are now taking a stand in their community to say no to drug and alcohol abuse and violence. They are changing their community, generation by generation. Each generation is supporting each other and encouraging the next to dream and take action for a different future.

So much community development work comes down to relationships. The transforming of communities comes down to engaging people and building relationship, to working together, collaborating on a common cause. It happens in walking alongside each other in life, to build trust, to share life together and have confidence that the relationships will remain. The impact of these relationships can be incredibly profound, yet the start is incredibly simple.

Created with love in mind

The megaphone declaration, in New Testament in the Bible, that love was on its way was not declared by political or societal leaders. But by a guy who sat outside the system (Luke 1v80, Luke 3v1-18). John called for a new way, the way of love. We too are to live a life of love in action, being a voice that points to a greater way. Love was our calling before we were created.

While love was written into our DNA it is still a choice. Relationships exist in many forms in our world. Some relationships we seek out, others come with co-location or other decisions we make. The way that we relate in these relationships comes down to intention, habit, culture and choice. Love cannot exist without the freedom to choose it.

Because love requires freedom to choose it, to love means we may not have our love returned. While a one-way love can be powerful and selfless, it can also remain unseen to the other. But how amazing it is when two choose to love each other? The world around them begins to change in the midst of this dynamic two-way dialogue.

God is relational. There is an intimate bond between the father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We are created in God’s image with this desire for intimacy at the core of us. One of our great mandates is to love, to create family, a new way of being. Yet our love is often less than perfect. We long for a love greater than ourselves, a love that is unfailing. We long for a divine, expansive, revolutionary kind of love, the love of our creator.

And even divine, expansive and revolutionary love needs freedom to grow. Receiving love cannot be mandated by God, or by anyone. He paints his love for us the world over, in creation, in small situations and big. But he cannot make us love him. He puts it out there, so that it’s known. But leaves us to choose how to respond to his love.

But this love goes beyond just loving him back and loving another. This love has implications for his creation. In finding this great love, we then care for the other heart loves of our great love; his creation, the planet, and other people, creating order and bringing justice.

Like a couple in love affects their friends, family, workplaces, environments so this great love radiates out and impacts the world. If we choose to cherish it, to respond to it, to choose it. So we are called and created for it.

intro

Over the last couple of years I have been reflecting on how the significance of life is found in relationship. Relationships are the substance of life. They are the home of meaning, community, intimacy, and belonging. Relationships give us access to incredible resources and strength in community. Great achievements and changes are empty without relationship. It is in great relationships we are supported through our rough times and our achievements are celebrated. It is in great relationship our selfishness is challenged, our rough spots smoothed and healing takes place. Real transformation in people’s lives, communities and even cities does not come from how much someone knows, their designated power, or the amount of resource they have. Knowledge, power and resources aid change to happen. They are not the catalyst or determinants of lasting change.

I have always held a keen sense of justice. My childhood was spent in a household that actively participated in our local community and church. Arrested by the scenes from LiveAid streaming from the TV in the living room my interest in justice and poverty relief grew, supported and encouraged by my parents.

I spent my teens focused on causes and volunteering in the local community. This led to devoting my career to people work. As a youth worker, public servant, sociologist and artist I have been concerned with challenging perceptions, changing unjust social systems and calling systems to consider the unengaged or marginalised.

I used to carry frustration about not doing more great things in my life. I expected GREAT to look dramatic, inspiring, colourful, noisy and big. I had high expectations of achieving significant, world changing, life transforming adventures in my 20s. But I have come to understand Mother Teresa’s comment, “no one can do great things, but you can do small things with great love.”

It was not until I was in Ecuador in 2007 that I realized how much I needed to be freed from empty striving to do and be great. I was visiting Ecuador to look at community development, youth work and mission. Partly for the adventure and partly to discover whether this was somewhere, something I could invest my life in. I went with tourist camouflage, heavy anticipation and only basic Spanish. My qualifications, my job, my reputation and work experience didn’t help me navigate or relate to a country with such poverty, political instability, poor health and social issues.

What floored me most was not the issues and deprivation I encountered. I was overwhelmed and undone by how complete strangers welcomed me, loved me and gave generously out of very little. I saw in them riches I didn’t have. They were rich in faith and love. My life was full of good intentions and hope to see a world changed. I had power, resource and self-determination. My friends in Ecuador may not have had my influence, but they have great love and lives poured out to serve others.

I came to understand that good intentions and a strong will to do good falls empty. Love is so much more than a feeling and commitment amongst friends and loved ones. Love has incredible potential to change circumstances. I love Martin Luther King’s description of the relationship between love and justice.

“Power is love executing the demands of justice. What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love”.

Martin Luther King. (1967) Where Do We Go From Here? Address to the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (1967-08-16)

While I have experience working with individuals and communities to see transformation. At the end of the day doing good out of good intentions and knowledge is not enough for transformation. This blog has come out of my journey and desire to reflect, meditate, mull over more of the love and goodness of God that is powerful, creative, vibrant, subversive and freeing. My prayer is that my heart and yours is expanded and His great love overflows spontaneously and often from our lips, hands, and in our words.

Faith: Hope: LOVE

beginnings

Hi there friends,

Welcome to 30 days of love in action. This blog is all about a writing project I'm embarking on. The plan is to come up with 30 reflections of how anyone can make a difference in their community, and the world.

Mother Teresa once said "In this life we cannot do great things, only small things with great love."

That's what this project is all about. Exploring doing small things with great love that might change the world.

So come on the journey.